Tim za socijalno uključivanje i smanjenje siromaštva

Author: Stefan Lazarević (Social Inclusion Blog)

Other people say I have a short fuse. This actually means that I get easily annoyed. I know that there are a lot of people who react the same way. I noticed that other people find it unusual when I react strongly, this is mostly because they don’t know the reasons why I got so upset. Also, the problem is that my reactions last long and they are quite strong, so other people do not know how to cope. This is why it is good that I am writing this article, I would love it if it could help them understand me better.

One of the things that upset me a lot is when I send a text message to someone where I ask them to meet or chat a little and they do not reply, or they say that they are not available. This always hurts me badly. I think about it constantly, and I go around telling everyone what had happened, so instead of becoming less angry, I become more nervous and more annoyed. Sometimes it happens that I stay angry about these situations for days, and other people cannot understand why I am shouting about something that happened a week ago. It is particularly hard for me when I call a friend, and they promise we will see each other or talk on a particular day and then that does not happen. My parents try to console me, and they say that maybe something had happened to that person or that they had simply forgotten about our arrangement, but there are people in my life who have done this several times. I often wonder why these people are lying to me, and why wouldn’t they openly tell me that they cannot or will not see me, or better said, why they think I would forget about their promise.

Another thing that upsets me is when someone is shouting at me. Sometimes I do not understand why they shouted, and sometimes I just feel insulted. My reactions are then quite strong and I notice that people are taken aback by my reaction, and they ask me why I was acting in such a way. (…)

When my parents or my sister yell at me, I get angry, and I want to complain to people about them. They often say: “We can’t say anything to you. You always get mad.” Then I usually start stomping my feet, or I yell back at them, sometimes I even start crying while listening to a sad song just so I would feel better. There is a saying “Sometimes tears are medicine for the soul.” Since they are not the perfect solution, I will try to find some other way to resolve my issues. (…)

Even though I love playing instruments when I am upset I hit the keyboard so hard that it broke a couple of times. My father tells me not to do this, but to play slowly and gently. Now that I have a new keyboard, I try to play more gently, then, in the end, the music relaxes me, and I feel much better.

At home, we often talk about my reactions, and about how I could overcome the situations which make me upset. I am aware that I should not react so strongly, but when something like this happens, I just cannot help myself. All of this affects me deeply, and no matter how hard I try, I get annoyed quickly, and I find it difficult to calm down. I would love to learn to react differently; sometimes I do breathing exercises, I hope that they will help me and that my behaviour in these situations will be less noticeable.

The text in its entirety can be found on the Social Inclusion Blog.