Tim za socijalno uključivanje i smanjenje siromaštva

Author: Anđela Čeh (Social Inclusion Blog)

(…) I was always hard-headed, mulish, obstinate, they told me. My wonderful, normative, perfectly imperfect, demanding family, full of love. They found it cute, as long as I still, somehow, fit into the norm. And then I fell in love. Once, then again, and again… I discovered something within myself and about myself. Something wonderful and as enormous as the entire planet. Clearer and greater than that, even, greater than myself. The ability to love. A woman. (…)

This turned out to be, it would seem, in addition to my different thinking, actions, different opinions on society and the world, the generation gap and political belief, a bit too much. The image they held grew blotted and dissolved. The love remains, but it becomes clear that its unconditionality is, in fact, conditional, and that a huge elephant in the room kept growing and growing during every Sunday family lunch. When there is skilful evasion of all touchy subjects of conversation that might lead to conflict, discussion, wailing and tears, and when the fear of mutual unacceptance prevails, replaced by a deep, hard silence. Separation. Erasure or blurring of happy, carefree images. Gloom and pain. (…)

And so you think you cannot go on alone. Then you realize that along the way, almost by accident, as if it were a set of chance occurrences, a set of different people start to nestle into your life and your heart, people with whom you share part of yourself, with whom you feel free in your open vulnerability. (…) We, lesbians, gay men, bisexual and trans* persons, often not understood, not accepted, side-lined, rejected, and always “other”, regardless of the economic (in)stability, social circles, level of education and all other aspects of life, we are rather wont to spending a lot of time and energy building communities. Yes, we recognize one another and connect based on our identity, or at least part of our identity, something that may seem limited, irresponsible and politically rash, but we still do it, due to a very strong need for acceptance and belonging.

No, we are not a homogenous community by any means, we so have our differences! We come from various backgrounds, life experiences, levels of education, we support varied political options, believe in different things, reason differently, and make different steps. We get angry at one another, shout, frown, complain, scream, rage, there is discord among us. But we always understand one another and always give a chance and hold out our hand to one another. Based on what is important for us, this being primarily closeness and a yearning for acceptance and freedom. And we know we are investing in the right stuff, in one another, we support each other, cheer our successes, mourn together, work together and fight together. (…)

It was Easter, and we gathered around a very honest family feast. My wonderful, non-normative, perfectly imperfect family, full of love. Each of us, in fact, choosing to be there. The day was preceded by a long week, and we didn’t much feel like talking. We ate, toasted, ate some more. Listened to music, played a cartoon. Silence, but not uncomfortable. A silence full of unspoken words of recognition and acceptance, worming its way into the furniture, walls, skin and hearts. Feeding your soul and giving you strength. Like when the Serbian Pride Parade ended in June last year, when we were overflowing with happiness, success and pride. Like when we learned that the Commissioner for the Protection of Equality adopted the historical opinion confirming that the Ministry of Defence discriminated against the first retired trans* major of the Serbian Army. Like when, together and in harmony, we initiated that process. Like when they told us that finally we have received premises from the City of Belgrade to establish a drop-in centre for trans* and LGBI persons, where we can share togetherness with all those in need. Just like every time we shared all that we cheer for, hope for, dream for, what we fear and what we mourn. Trust, love and support. Something greater than each of us individually, yet precisely what makes us, together, so strong. And the entire cosmos is sitting with you in that room. And you know you are home. (…)

The text in its entirety can be found on the Social Inclusion Blog.